Mind vs. Heart: The Internal Tug-of-War and How to Make It Stop
Are you struggling to calm your thoughts? Or have you been putting off major life decisions because you just can’t make up your mind? Maybe you constantly seek advice or approval from others so you can feel more confident about making the right decision…
The Internal Battle: Why It’s so Loud
Fear. Fear plays a major role in the way we operate and go about making decisions in our lives. These can be small daily decisions or they can be life-altering ones. Essentially, when fear continues to run the show, it automatically overrides our intuition. Thus, we end up making a decision that is out of alignment with our core selves and ultimately takes us further away from what is truly meant to be.
Disconnection. Disconnection between the mind and body is extremely common. For example, we may know the pros and cons of a certain outcome but the pro-and-cons-list may not be lining up with the way we feel. There is a major difference between knowing and feeling. To be in alignment means your thoughts, beliefs, and feelings are syncing up with one another and working in unison. Decisions made in alignment are NOT rooted in fear.
Lack of trust. When there has been a continued disconnection between our minds and gut instincts we lose the confidence to trust ourselves. Maybe we have been wrong before, hurt before, or maybe we’re just used to other people making decisions for us. Whatever the case may be, if you do not trust yourself, it will be very difficult for you to hear the answer.
A vicious Figure-8-Cycle that keeps on repeating itself. Here’s a common example:
“Fear is ultimately the root of my distress. I’m afraid of the outcome. Therefore, in order to protect myself, my ego (internal self-defense mechanism) starts to ‘logically’ weigh the pros and cons. I go back and forth between decisions but struggle to feel content with either answer. Maybe I will feel better if someone else gives me advice or approves of my answer instead”.
Does this sound familiar? Overly seeking external validation is addicting. Why? Because it’s easier for someone else to decide or “approve” of a certain decision than it is to reestablish the connection yourself.
How to Calm Your Thoughts and Make the Right Decision
Write down your thoughts and feelings. Writing things down will help you see your thoughts more concretely. Without judgment, notice any patterns or incongruences between your current thoughts and feelings. Name the types of emotions you’re feeling and ask yourself which emotion your current thought is rooted in. You do not need to show this to anybody, so write honestly.
Connect to your heart. Metaphorically and energetically, your heart is a symbolic representation of love, joy, and higher states of consciousness. When we intentionally connect with higher states of consciousness (i.e., joy, love, gratitude, etc.) fear subsides. This is how we clear or, at the very least, loosen the grip of fear so we can go back to our thoughts with greater depths of clarity. This can be done by reflecting on a memory that evokes a state of inner calm or by doing a heart-focused guided meditation. Once you’ve become centered in your heart THEN try to make a decision. Remember this is a practice, not something that happens overnight. So please be gentle with yourself as you learn the ropes.
Seek support. If you still feel like you’re struggling to calm your thoughts or to trust the decisions you make for yourself, you may have some unresolved subconscious patterns in addition to energetic blockages that are impacting the way you feel. These typically occur when we experience stress, negative events, or when we are unaware of our own constricting social conditions. Energetic blockages and subconscious patterns typically go hand and hand, so you will want to address them both simultaneously to release them from the body. These two strategies will aid in regulating your nervous system. If this is new for you, you don’t have to do everything by yourself. Professionals exist to help guide you!
If you would like to work with me, I provide both EMDR and Reiki services for an all-encompassing Mind-Body-Spirit approach. Book online at www.abundantlightllc.com or call 507-412-6855 to learn more. Please note: Therapy clients must be within the state of MN during the time of their therapy session. However, Reiki services can be provided at any location within the U.S. Therapy can be booked online or by phone. Reiki appointments can be reserved by phone call only.
Your intuition knows the answer and you absolutely can learn how to connect back to it, permanently!
Abundant Light, LLC is located at 7650 Currell Blvd, Suite 311 in Woodbury, MN. Search terms like counseling near me, therapy near me, EMDR near me, trauma therapist near me, or Reiki near me are relevant to local surrounding areas (including but not limited to) Cottage Grove, MN, St. Paul, MN, White Bear Lake, MN, Mendota Heights, MN, Inver Grove Heights, MN, Minneapolis, MN as they are within a 25-mile radius of Abundant Light, LLC’s physical location. Abundant Light, LLC also offers telehealth services across the state of MN. Reiki services are provided beyond the surrounding local area.
