1) It’s not a priority.

Many people have an “I will when…” mentality. For example, “I will when work settles down, I will when I have more cash flow, I will when I have more time, (etc)”. Firstly, if you have a demanding position at work it’s probably going to stay demanding. Secondly, the time is NOW because life doesn’t just magically get easier and no one is promised tomorrow. Thirdly, we have to decide how much our happiness is worth. We need to ask ourselves, do I really not have any wiggle room in the budget or am I putting myself on the back burner?

Take a look at the chart below. These are some national averages spent by the majority of Americans per year. The average amount of sessions for EMDR recommended is, typically, between 10-22 sessions ranging between $125-$175 per session.

2) They’re avoidant.

Most people don’t like conflict. Therefore, if there is an internal conflict, it’s easier to “ignore it and hope it will go away” than it is to address it head-on. Essentially, they are avoiding the deeper parts of themselves in hopes to avoid discomfort. Ironically the stagnation created by avoidance only adds more to the pain. If we want our lives to change so we can feel better, we have to be willing to look at ourselves honestly. Continuing to put things off, only stops us from living.

3) They fear change.

To be completely honest, many people are used to settling and expecting less of themselves in multiple areas of their lives. This isn’t necessarily a conscious decision but it does happen quite commonly. A majority of this comes from social conditioning patterns in addition to personal life circumstances. Fear of uncertainty can stop someone in their tracks even if they know deep down they want to move forward. Sometimes not knowing what’s on the other side (even if the other side means happiness) can feel very scary. In a way, we get used to our discomfort and it becomes familiar. Familiarity is typically more comforting than traveling to the unknown.

4) They don’t know where to start.

Many people know they feel like crap but they don’t always know why. They may seek advice from friends or co-workers but they’re rarely able to get to the true root cause of what’s cultivating their despair. People also become confused about how to actually start the therapy process and are unsure of what to expect during those first sessions. Pro-tip: you do not need to share anything you don’t feel comfortable with! We, therapists, know building trust takes time. So only share what you feel comfortable sharing during your first sessions. Just do a Google search for a provider in your area that specializes in what you would like to receive help in. Contact them and they will take it from there.

5) They’ve tried it before and it didn’t work.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard statements like “I had a bad experience with my old therapist” or “I’ve been in therapy for years but nothing works”. First and foremost, if you do not like your therapist for any reason whatsoever, SWITCH! Moreover, the majority of the time when I hear statements like, “I tried therapy before but it wasn’t successful” it’s because (shameless plug here) the client has not tried EMDR (Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) Therapy. Every medical journal seems to reference CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy) which really is just standard talk therapy, in my opinion, and should be the norm for any provider. Talk therapy alone is very helpful but rarely do I find it to get to the heart of the issue. If we could just talk our way out of things it probably would have been done by now. Most clients I see have seen the results they’re looking for after fully committing to the EMDR process. EMDR can help improve relationships, help move on from old relationships, help heal from past betrayal, reduce or eliminate anxiety attacks, reduce or eliminate depression and suicidal ideation, address substance issues, address anger and resentment issues, address body-image issues, eating disorders, low self-esteem, help process the death of loved ones, help process sexual assault, and help address many other forms of trauma or mental health issues. This is because EMDR doesn’t just focus on symptoms but rather addresses the underlying belief system being held in both the mind and the body.

CONCLUSION

Do not be afraid to ask for help when things get overwhelming or when you feel stuck. Reach out! To feel better you must commit and work hard in order to improve your health. This is about mastery and critical skill development. This is how you create success. It doesn’t just magically come to you. You will not learn advanced skills overnight but you will learn to become a master of creating your own happiness for a lifetime to come. Success requires dedication, focus, and patience. From a statistical standpoint, the energy you invest in your self-development will be well beyond worth it.

5 Harsh Truths About Why People Delay Their Healing