When Thoughts Take Over: Part II
Disclaimer: Although these thought patterns are commonly reported in the neurotypical community, that does not mean negative thought patterns or negative belief systems do not occur within the neurodivergent community. Negative beliefs are common across all populations regardless of neurological makeup and are not limited to the neurotypical community alone. The purpose of differentiating between neurotypical and neurodivergent communities was only to highlight differences regarding the structure behind certain types of thoughts. This post is only to serve as brief examples for psychoeducation purposes only. It is not an exhaustive explanation and should not be used out of context.
This post consists of two parts:
Part I – thought patterns in the neurodivergent community. That is, people’s whose brain’s function differently in comparison to the majority of their peers from a neurodevelopmental perspective.
Part II – thought patterns in the neurotypical community. People whose brain function similarly to the majority of their peers from a neurodevelopmental perspective.
“When our thoughts take over it can be all-consuming. They can continue to run through our minds during the day, prevent us from being fully present at work or with our loved ones, and make it difficult to sleep at night (etc.). If our thoughts continue to build without any real intervention, we can start to spiral, be sent into a state of panic, or become physically ill.
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Part II:
Common Thought Patterns
Sometimes our thoughts do not originate from our neurological makeup although they certainly still impact it. Instead, many of our thoughts are based on our own internalization of our external environment. That is, the messages and stories we tell ourselves based on what’s going on around us. Essentially, our negative thought patterns are deeply rooted in our negative belief systems.
Here is an example: if someone, deep down, believes they are not good enough they may subconsciously stay in relationships that continue to reinforce their internalized belief system. When they learn that they are good enough, sometimes we see the relationship change for the better, OR sometimes people break up entirely if the old dynamics in the relationship no longer fit the new and improved belief system.
Here is another example: feeling incapable of handling work-related stress. If someone does not trust themselves at work they may start to make little mistakes that they probably wouldn’t if they were more confident. Thus, they start to feel more anxious about work and continue to make even more mistakes. Therefore, just the thought of talking to their boss or “not doing things perfectly” may cause them to have heightened anxiety or panic attacks. If they shift to I am capable, then they will start to feel more confident, make fewer mistakes, and ultimately reduce their anxiety.
Think of a negative belief system as a snowball effect. It starts small and continues to grow as it collects more “stuff” along the way. The more it expands the greater the difficulty in trying to manage it. Negative beliefs are really sneaky and we rarely recognize that they’re even there without intentional reflection. Typically, what we see are the symptoms rising to the surface rather than the core root of the issue.
A specific thought pattern that is common when experiencing high anxiety is called Rumination. Rumination is not the same as perseveration (discussed in Part I of this article). Ruminating thoughts are typically seen as a result of high anxiety, low self-esteem, attachment issues, negative beliefs, and trauma. Essentially, rumination is our mind’s primal way of trying to ‘think ourselves to safety’ which often leads to mental exhaustion, panic attacks, and sleep issues (etc). Challenging our thoughts and the way we speak to ourselves on a daily basis will help us shift our perception and ultimately help us feel better almost instantly.
However, many people find that eventually similar thoughts return. Likewise, some people feel as though challenging their thoughts exudes an excessive amount of energy that’s difficult to sustain. Ultimately, if we want to stop ruminating about things that make us feel anxious then there are some things we need to do.
To start, we need to take inventory of the types of thoughts we’re having and we will need to learn how to be alone with ourselves long enough to do so. It’s important to understand what thoughts are typically on replay and then ask ourselves WHY we think they are so distressing. Then start challenging them. For example, do I have all of the information to prove this point? Are there any other alternative facts that I should consider? Is there a higher perspective that I’m not seeing? What are these thoughts telling me I need to heal from? Start saying compassionate things to yourself or write down a compassionate response back. When we do this AND find physical ways to regulate our nervous system (e.g., yoga) then we start to feel better long-term. Doing both is extremely important.
If you try these exercises and still feel like the negative beliefs are “stuck” it may be beneficial to seek a professional EMDR counselor. EMDR can help you get rid of negative beliefs with less effort and bring in new empowering ones. If you notice certain patterns in your life continue to cycle this may be more related to what we call “looping” in trauma therapy. Looping is when we keep coming back around to the same stuck belief without really recognizing it. For example, maybe we feel like we keep ending up in the same types of scenarios but don’t understand why. If this happens (which is actually pretty common) you may want to reach out so you can move through it faster.
Here are some (but certainly not all) common negative belief systems that keep people stuck in the same looping pattern.
I’m not good enough
I’m broken
I’m stupid
I’m powerless
I’m bad
I’m ugly
I’m responsible
I’m not safe
I’m not worthy
I’m worthless
I’m unloveable
I’m not able to trust
Etc.
Negative belief systems can be tricky but the good news is we can change them! If we change our thoughts we can change our life. Creating a better, happier, and more empowering reality.
Abundant Light Counseling’s
surrounding service areas include but are not limited to:
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To book an appointment call Beth Anderson, M.Ed., LPCC at 507-412-6855 or book online at www.abundantlightllc.com/contact
